Posted in advice, perspective

The Positivity of Patience

As most of you may have noticed, I have tried to keep things pretty light recently.  With so much fear out there, I didn’t think focusing on the negative was going to be helpful in any way.  It is easy to be negative, and sometimes it is really funny.  It is funny to point out the stupidity of others, or the lack of common sense we see all of the time.

But this is where patience can really be helpful, because the first thing that we need to do is establish the perspective of the person we are frustrated or annoyed with.  If they are an arrogant prick, it feels really good to bring them down a peg or two.  But if they were someone doing something they thought was right, it is hard to be mad, and a lot easier to talk things out.  But, in both cases patience is warranted, because you need to take a step back and try to figure out what your endgame is with each person. 

You should want everyone to become better.  Either better people in general, or better at the task at hand.  Making some feel angry or on the other side, stupid, isn’t going to get you where you need to be. 

If you make someone angry with you, they are only going to try to make you look foolish or relish in the times you fail.  If you trying to accomplish some goal, having your teammate try to trip you up every step of the way isn’t getting the team their any faster.  It is this short sightedness, that many of us live in, because we thrive in the instant gratification we get by venting or making a prick feel stupid.  If we focus on the long game, we can see that this pettiness isn’t moving the ball down the field, instead it is stagnating in one spot, or worse moving backwards.

If you make someone feel stupid or insecure about what they are doing, they will slow you down too.  But in this case, it is out of fear, and they will constantly be second guessing themselves, and taking forever to do whatever task you have given them.  They will do this, and never come to ask you a question because they are afraid of making you angry or disappointed.  Instead of actually trying to work against you, they are the clumsy player, so worried about making a mistake, that all they can do is make mistakes.

That is thing, it is easy to be the angry teacher, coach, supervisor, etc. and that is usually what we do.  I was one of those people, and I am still fighting to not be one of those people.  It is always easier to deal with the nice timid and worried person, because with an asshole you just want them to fail.  But in both cases with patience and perspective you can get the whole team moving in the right direction.  As a leader, sometimes you may have to take a bullet just to get everyone to focus on the goal.